February 2011
52 posts
January 2011
39 posts
1 tag
Sexy update.
She asked me if it was too soon to meet the family last night?
I should’ve probably asked her if it was too soon to get shit-faced with her dad last night?
January 2k11.
I’ve been writing less because I’ve had less to bitch about. I’ve been in a relatively amazing mood all of January, which has an inverse relationship to the amount of vitriol I usually direct towards the internets. January has been one of the best months of my life, I can honestly say. Vegas for New Years, Steamboat with the boys for a week of Sorry for Partying and fresh...
I’ve seen the original True Grit and the Coen Brothers’ remake. Artistic and cinematic differences aside, Jeff Bridges’ version of Rooster Cogburn is far superior to John Wayne’s. I feel like John Wayne is guilty of George Clooneyism, wherein he merely plays himself in every movie he appears in. Bridges is engaging- you forget that it’s him-a significant discrepancy...
2 tags
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For a long time I thought I had been given my shot at happiness. Or, shots, I should say. I was fortunate enough to have many amazing women in my life that wanted to be with me and I would, in turn, sabotage or ruin those relationships. Many of which went on to marry the very next guy they dated (*insert Good Luck Chuck* joke). Anyway, I couldn’t make the jump, unsure if it was me or them or...
3 tags
Spending my Sunday watching football and caulking the window cases my pops and I built yesterday.
Caulk everywhere.
My hands are covered in caulk.
Just used a French Press for the first time.
Shit’s delicious.
Happy Friday.
You know how certain songs can remind you of someone? Well, I can literally hear my ex-girlfriend screaming at the television anytime I watch Arizona basketball. Had quite the filthy mouth on her, that one. Also, Washington, raise the roof? Really? 1997, dude. Seriously.
1 tag
1 tag
I just got all Ben Roethlisbergered up in the gym,...
Makin’ my body do things it doesn’t want to.
Treadmill like a young, drunk teenie babe.
Rape jokes.
Are not funny?
2 tags
I know you went to a small liberal arts school...
hugeinjapan:
drinkyourjuice:
false binary
I feel like you’re making an “either/or” situation out of something that could be “both/and”
heteronormative culture
nuanced issue
I’m really into Dispatch
Hahahaha. No one likes Dispatch.
Ha! I fucking love Dispatch. Buying tickets tomorrow actually. And my small Liberal Arts School kicked ass.
Oh…
I see what you did there…
2 tags
“Does anyone know if the Coachella line-up is out yet?”
I’m getting older. Like, old. I can’t deal with people who bring nothing to the table. I’m holding mental tryouts and just straight cutting fools like it’s JV basketball. I don’t have time for the fakeness, backstabbers, takers, and people who are just consistently negative. Life is fucking short and I don’t want to waste time on people who take the gem out of...
Shreddin' the Gnarly Pow.
First chair in the morning. Wrapping up another amazing weekend. 2011 has kicked ass so far. All 15 days of it, that is.
B: I recapped our mushroom story tonight and had to pinch my dick because I was laughing so hard.
B: So as not to pee.
Me: I understand. I drove a car that was breathing.
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egryan asked: I love pickles, but not when people smell like them.
Let's go on a run and then eat burritos.
Let's go on a run and then eat burritos.
1 tag
RantyMcRantleson.
Sometimes I want to delete my blog because I see how many painfully boring, unfunny, unoriginal blogs there are out there and I don’t want to be associated with them. Yes, I feel my blog is better than yours (*elitist*). And that, in and of itself, should be enough motivitation for you to take a shotgun to the dick (*self-deprecating*), because I’m like a 6, maybe a 6.5 on the...
1 tag
What's for dinner.
Half bottle of wine, 2 tylenol PM, 2 extra-strength mucinex, 1000 mg emergen-c and a little (half a bottle) Nyquil nightcap. COLD, I WILL DEFEAT YOU!!!
Old Lady Patient: Jon, I got gas today.
Me: oh. Um, well, that's ok, it actually happens all the time here.
Old Lady Patient: $3.17 a gallon. Can you believe it?
Me: ...oh...wow...yeah, that's, um, expensive. Sooo how's the hip?
“I have scars on my hands from touching certain people.”
– J.D. Salinger (via ohpioneer)
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