February 2012
4 posts
“Death is like an old whore in a bar—I’ll buy her a drink but I won’t go upstairs...”
– Ernest Hemingway, To Have and Have Not (via hockey-teeth)
Todd: Dude, [redacted] is a HOT mess!
Me: I know. It's ridic. She told me she was giving up booze and sex for 60 days, I think she made it two.
T: She must be desperate or something.
Me: Nah. She's a just a 23 yr. old train wreck. I don't think we were much better at that age.
T: Erroneous.
Me: Really? You want to play the memory game? How old were you when you shit your pants at Deli Towne???
T: ....
January 2012
39 posts
Monday Morning Gym Session.
Pre-workout meal: Coffee, gummi bears.
I don’t know if I’m doing this right?
“I have always lived violently, drunk hugely, eaten too much or not at all, slept...”
– John Steinbeck (via thatkindofwoman)
Can we...
…put the word “swag” to rest?
Strength Updates.
Because everyone keeps asking!
As projected by strstd.com.
Body weight: 192
Bench: 350lbs. (315x2)
Squat: 413lbs. (365x5)
Deadlift: 399lbs. (315x6)
Overhead press: 192 lbs. (165x4)
Weighted chin-ups: BW + 25kgs x 6
Cool story, meathead.
Also, squatting more than I dead??? Wtf.
“Only a few shafts penetrate the moist forest floor.”
– I mean, Animal Planet, c’mmmmon! Pretending to be a grown up over here.
1 tag
Insomnia.
Not as cool as it sounds in Fight Club.
4:45 am?? Fuck that.
Company Party.
We are having our Christmas party tonight. A little late, obviously. Last time I drank with my fellow, much older co-workers, they found me bleeding and drinking coors light in a late 18th century cemetary throwing rocks at tourists. Soooo, is this bitch open bar or what?
2 tags
1 tag
Not to hijack your sentiment, bro.
daddyisaninja:
This one thing happened…
I’m posting this on my tumblr for a couple of reasons. One, I can relate (only as far as circumstances allow) with Brian as I, along with my family, have been trying to “save” my brother for years, even more so over the last several months. I’m terrified of the call I feel like we’re all waiting for, and I lie awake at...
Anyone ever have that dream where you are getting a tattoo and when you turn to check in the mirror you realize your ass cheeks have been tattooed completely black? Like, completely. I’m asking for a friend.
“Listen, when you get home tonight you’re going to be confronted by the instinct...”
– Toby Ziegler on The West Wing.
I’m not one to argue with this advice.
(via nebraska-admiral)
Current Annoyances.
People who tell you to vote for their children in online cuteness contests. Repeatedly.
People who lose all regard for traffic laws and etiquette once inside a mall parking lot.
The fact that I’m STILL HUNGOVER from the Niners game.
Food places that are closed on sundays. Not part of Jesus’ plan.
The term: mixologist.
The girls I know that are content being pretty...
1 tag
I love this town.
One of my patients came in to get treated for back pain. He hurt it while skinning a coyote. Only in Reno.
Important New Emoticons | McSweeney's →
ratsoff:
By Mira Ptacin and Seth Fried
+: ) Ash Wednesday
+; ) Flirty Ash Wednesday
: F Bored snake
[>: ( Fire Bad
[I: I Ice neither good nor bad; me ambivalent
,:” I Attacked by cat
:%I Lowering glasses to see if you’re serious
;%) Lowering glasses to see if you’re feeling what I’m feeling
:»q Accidentally spraying self in eye with mace
O0o No one...
“No, Jon is like…this weird guy who owns a loofah…and an ax. He’s complex.”
– (via afrayedknot)
SORRY IF THE LOOFAH IS ONE OF THE GREATEST ADVANCEMENTS IN MODERN BATHING!
2 tags
Meatheads Anonymous.
And I’m officially stronger than I have ever been. And with better form too!
Cool story, bro.
December 2011
29 posts
Love DVR.
Watching the Chargers game this morning.
Drinking coffee.
Not wearing pants.
I love mondays.
1 tag
Barry Bonds.
Barry was sentenced to two years probation. So he better not break the homerun record OR ELSE!!!
Friday.
This teacher, Mr. Rivera, goes “What’s wrong with you, Delaney?” and I go, “I’m totally fucked man!”
Everyone laughed like a bastard.